Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Atrios Trolls Bush's Right to Rise superPAC to Prove Citizens United Is High-End Material for an Onion Spoof Forever (Did We Accidentally Discover Dark Matter!?)


Or something. Yeah big money was gonna help Karl Rove take over the world and make reality while we just ran after as stenographers while they made some more reality.

Unfortunately, Bush's Brain morphed into Turd Blossom semi-permanently but it didn't matter because Faux Nose hired him as a Dali-without-Portfolio, or campaign-strategist-cum-idiot-savant, which suited his polls-as-Coltrane-riffs shaken and not stirred yet transmogrified by the math. Made pretty bad jazz, that, but they let him have his Crossroads GPS grift, which funded a couple of really silly silly seasons oh well. Turds are blossoming!

And then Mitt Romney lost by four points when he should have been Citizens United's appointed High Marshall of Le Régime de la Presente, and Karl was left growling at Megyn Kelly like a dog, unfortunately sounding more woof-woof-woof-woof-woof-woof until security came. Not Rove's best moment.

Last time I saw Mitt Romney his head was stuck in a pickle jar, and he was mouthing, "gee but the polls had us at +5. wha happen? corporations are people too my friend...

How da happn? Hoo nose? Atrios gets sober just in time after SOTU drinking games to tell us what might be transpiring in a post-Citizens United world:

Right to Rise

Yes this is Jeb Bush supporting SuperPac. I do think one one of my opinions about Citizens United and its after effects (CU's impact really was more of a cultural change) has been vindicated, that stupid rich people spending stupid amounts of money to hire other stupid people won't necessarily have as much success as we think.


The marijuana budget must be huge at Right to Rise.

Yes, and the Koch Brothers are going to have the biggest stupidPAC called Americans for Prosperity where the joke is Kochs are prosperous but the people running Americans for Prosperity are interns and hacks from the last three losing GOP campaigns who expect the same pay right or wrong (sounds like a Koch Industry). Politics is hard!

Or Sheldon Aldelson can buy a Vegas paper but he can't make it bark at judges he doesn't like until he needs cash from his superPAC to keep it a float. Then he needs to take his meds and his nap. Meanwhile his wife tries to make his superPAC valid at least to the extend that there's money to grift while Adelson is still napping. Note to self: Ask Murdoch how this shit works.

WE HAVE UNLIMITED MONEY IN POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS YEA! NOW HOW DO WE WIN ONE? SERIOUSLY HOW??!?

Don't worry Trump doesn't need a superPAC so its all good "HE'S GOT THE POWER, UH HUH UH HUH UH HUH."


A double-helix of snakes eating their tales... Is it another morph of Rovian the math? Or is it the Republican Party all breaky-breaky oh myyy? Somebody get some gorilla glue.


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