It's Time to Ban White Males from the U.S. They're Responsible for 63% of Mass Murders.

Why are white males so dangerous? Hard to say, but Hispanics rarely do this. Weird.

I'm so proud of our Republican Congress. It was really brave of them to ban guns in order to stop the 30,000 or so who die by the bullet each year. Real guts.

Wait, that was some other movie, you know the one that makes sense, not the one where Marco Rubio says that “You can have a thousand people come in and 999 of them are just poor people fleeing oppression and violence. But one of them is an Isis fighter – if that’s the case, you have a problem."

But in real life 63 percent of mass murderers are white males. The weapon of choice is a gun.

So which is it, America? Will we ban white men or guns or neither? Okay, let's just go with neither. Progress!

We're screwed. So great, so brave, so stupid.

Wait, this guy's not Syrian!

Reminder: The vast majority of terrorist attacks in this country are perpetrated by white male citizens. Just so you know.