Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Bush Names Presidential Library: Grim Fairy Tales Suppository

Okay, no, he didn't. As far as I can tell, the George W. Bush presidential library, which will be housed at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, where W. currently resides, will be called the George W. Bush Presidential Center.

But two points: One, it was announced today that the library has raised $500 million in donations, and, two, what the hell will sit on those hallowed bookshelves, anyway? The truth?

What the hell am I gonna put in my friggin' library?

And if the truth were to be represented there, who'd want to contribute to that coming out other than five million hippies and The Nation magazine? But then I jest.

No, the vast majority of the documents that will be stashed there for historians to mull over and sift through will be the largest collection of fairy tales this side of John Boehner's talking points.

Of course, what if I'm wrong? What if Bush, Gonzales, Rice, Powell, Tenet, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Feith, Wolfowitz, et al decided to outfox Wikileaks and spill the beans on what really drove the decisions of that most disastrous of all administrations? Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Don't hold your breath. In the meantime, if you want to exercise your noggin -- or exorcise it is more likely -- try to figure out who in hell would donate to the former Disaster-in-Chief Decider-in-Chief 's fantasy book collection. I suppose people with a whole lot of oil stocks in their portfolios.

And yes, I know the difference between repository and suppository. I'm just not sure if W. does, so I thought I'd use the more appropriate term.

Hey, I should save this book for my presidential library.

Fun, non-fairy-tale, real-life fact about the George W. Bush Presidential Center: Housed within the walls of the Center is the George W. Bush Institute -- get this, it's a bipartisan public policy development institution! -- and its director is James Glassman. Who's he? None other than the co-author of Dow 36,000, heralded as the dumbest book ever written. Maybe that could go in the library, too.

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