Mitt Romney Looks into His Soul, Sees Himself, and Looks Away

Mitt Romney at the Tuesday debate, staring his own ineptitude right in the face.

I wish every voter could look into Mitt Romney's soul. Would they see a man who thinks lying for the purpose of winning a point in a negotiation or a debate is just the cost of doing business, that God forgives those who lie if they've got a couple million bucks and the ambition to match? Or would they see a man who thinks if he throws out enough three-point plans or five-point plans people will forget that none of the points are worth spit but at least he's a man with plans? Would they see a man who thinks he's just too grand to ever be referred to as a flim-flam man?

We'll never know because we'll never get a look inside Mitt Romney's soul. I suspect Mitt Romney never will either. I've never seen any evidence that Mitt references his soul on a regular basis. He left that behind in high school when he was bullying kids whose hair wasn't right.

All we'll get to see of Mitt Romney was what he presented on the debate stage this past Tuesday, and it didn't look good. Oh, it looked good to about 30 percent of voters, but those are the same folks that thought George W. Bush was a good president, people I like to call Bush dead-enders. And, sure, Mitt will get another 18 percent of the voters that watched Mitt and saw that he has a plan, for Pete's sake, and he isn't a black Muslim Kenyan.

Let's look at those plans:

• Cut taxes across the board by 20 percent. This cut will be revenue-neutral (meaning it won't save anybody a dime) because he'll eliminate unspecified deductions -- deductions he vociferously refuses to specify. It begs the question: Why even do it? Government gets no extra money, so it doesn't solve the deficit, and people don't have their tax burden lowered, so...? Because he's a tax cutter! So there. And it's a plan.
• Create 12 million jobs. How? Magic! Romney does say it's because things will get better just because he's elected because it'll make people more confident, and also fewer regulations (on what, banks?) and lower taxes, and magic! By the way, experts all say we're going to get about 12 million jobs just because the economy will heal itself as it often does. So... But it's a plan.
• Repeal Obamacare, in spite of the fact that it was based on his health care plan in Massachusetts. Experts point out that if Romney cuts, as he said he would, federal support of Medicaid and allows health insurance to be sold across state lines, there's a great likelihood that it will destroy his signature health system in Massachusetts. Great. End Obamacare and Romneycare. That's a plan.
• Get tough on China. What does that actually mean? It means Mitt Romney is tough and Obama is a weenie. Oh.
• If Romney is elected, he'll get binders full of women. Oh, and he'll let his female cabinet officers off early every day so they can get home to cook dinner. A real feminist if I've ever seen one.
• If anything goes wrong in the middle east, he call it an act of terror on Day One. That'll fix everything.

We didn't get a look into Mitt Romney's soul on that debate stage. What we didn't see was much of a reason to hope for his election. Maybe he'll actually look into his soul after his failed campaign. I'd hate to think of what he'll see.

I could have been a contender, I could have been somebody. You were, Mitt, you were.