xkcd's usual brilliance:
The conservative movement and its various voices -- official, like the Republican Party, and corporate, like Fox News, and unofficial, like conservative/libertarian bloggers -- have gathered around Internet connections large and small to offer their
- Let's face it: Romney sucked.
- Everyone knows that the mainstream media was in the tank for Obama.
- Fact checkers had it in for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, in spite of their honorable character and general truthiness.
- Next time we'll just have to prevail by getting more extreme.
- It was great to see Ralph Reed back out there again. He was such a help.
- Maybe it really was Hurricane Sandy. I mean, it couldn't have been Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock, Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney, Linda McMahon, Allen West, Joe Walsh, Darrell Issa, Dan Lundgren, Michelle Bachmann, John Sununu, Donald Trump, Haley Barbour, and Ed Gillespie, could it?
- I suppose next cycle we'll need to find some Hispanics we don't want to deport.
- The War on Women™, though a righteous concept, might have been bad politics, especially because there are so goddam many of them. You know, women.
- Shit. Too bad Jennifer Lopez is a Democrat. Maybe Rosie Perez? Nah. Forget it, just go with Rubio next time, with a black vegan female Hispanic for veep. I mean, they gotta be out there.
- Next time we're going to need better false ads.
- @MittRomney i'm running 4 president, 4 pete's sake #let-detroit-go-bankrupt #self-deportation #insanelyfuckingstupid
- Wait. Jeb Bush speaks Spanish, right? 2016!
|Problems might arise if Jeb Bush ran in 2016, but I can't think of any offhand.|
As the Republican Party looks to move forward, it would be extremely wise to listen carefully to their old lions, like Rush Limbaugh, for instance:
This kind of reasoned insight is really going to help reshape the New Republican Party™. Any other examples? Here's one:
Bill O'Reilly's cogent analysis: Barack Obama won because blacks, Hispanics, and women want "stuff." You know, Bill, it's too bad that the white establishment didn't think up something like earmarks, and even worse that they devoured their way of winning votes, which was earmarks. Yep, the white establishment was the part of America that didn't want "stuff." Qu'est que c'est le bridge to nowhere? Yes, Bill, let's hope the New Republican Party™ listens carefully to you.
Here's another pearl of wisdom, this one from Jonah Goldberg at NRO:
In fact, I have a different view from some about the coming wave of recriminations: I welcome it. I don’t know that things need to be vicious or personal, but they do need to be honest. And honesty requires we say things that may feel personal to our friends. This is one of the great and abiding strengths of the conservative movement and the thing I love about it most. Contrary to the conventional wisdom among liberals, conservatives are actually far more willing to examine their dogma and their first principles than liberals or “centrists” are. This has been the source of conservatism’s lasting strength. [Emphasis mine.]Good, Jonah, you just keep saying that. It's really going to help with the honest appraisal to come.
Right on cue, the corporate voice of the Republican Party, Fox News, shows its wisdom and leadership:
Who cares if sane market analysts say it's a reaction to Europe, with a dash of the fiscal cliff? Which ain't Obama's fault in the first place.
Here we have Mark Steyn explaining the demise of the Western World because of the "Obama phone":
Finally, let's hope the GOP follow their faithful Rottweiler, Charles Krauthammer:
This will work out very well for the New Republican Party™, don't you think?
|Eric Cantor, Majority Leader of the House.|
Now underway, I'm told, is the rehabilitation of the Republicans...
|Two New Republicans, caught in their native habitat.|