Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Ruth Marcus: I've Got a Potty Mouth!

Ruth Marcus has set me free. I've been cautious about the potty-mouth thing here on the blog because I wanted to sound legit. There, I've admitted it. But Ruthy, old gal, you've liberated me. Wanna see? Okay, here goes:
  • The Roberts Court sucks. #theyblowalot
  • Paul Ryan really sucks. #hereallyblowsalot
  • Rupert Murdoch sucks. #hereallyblowsalottoo
  • Fox News sucks. #theyblowalot
  • The GOP candidates suck. #everybodyknowsthat
  • The .01% richest Americans suck. #everybodyalsoknowsthat
  • The job creators really suck. #nobodyhasafuckingjob
  • The Roberts Court really sucks. #blowsthemost
I'd add some links so you know I've researched that, but I don't have to because #everybodyknowsthat, they really do. The only people who don't know that are other people that suck. And I'm sure #everybodyalsoknowsthat.

God, when it comes to "worst person in the world" contests this week, we've got some contenders! Besides Ruth Marcus -- she's just pathetic, really should take a pill -- I'd like to nominate Lisa Riniker, the Wisconsin DA that filed a felony first-degree sexual assault charge against a six-year-old boy who played "butt doctor" with a five-year-old girl. It appears that he may have, sorta, touched her butt during the game.

I didn't make this up, and because of that, I have no choice but to create a new hash tag for Lisa Riniker: #morethanblowsalot.

Full disclosure: When I was six, I played doctor with a five-year-old. I went on the lam on my bike for a while and got a stern talking-to when I got home. Boy, I didn't do that again. Or at least I didn't until I actually figured out what sex was, which was mu-u-ch later.

Fuller disclosure: Thanks to the Catholic Church -- I went to Catholic schools -- I was almost fifteen before I had the vaguest notion about sex. The Catholic Church sucks. #okayyouknowthedrillillstop

Fullest disclosure: I finished my work-a-day-world career (I still may do stuff for money) as a high-school teacher, and I hated it when they searched kids backpacks, or suspended them or even expelled them for having a quarter joint in their pocket, or for coming to school with beer on their breath, or for getting caught having sex behind the portables. Should kids do that at school? Of course not. Do they? Of course they do. Will they stop because of a million lectures from Ruth Marcus? Maybe, just to #gethertofuckingshutup. (Actually, of course, never.)

Seriously, we have too many old fogies that still get to write for actual newspapers and magazines that haven't completely disintegrated. But if they're allowed to keep it up, they'll have no one but themselves to blame if people stop listening to them. Okay, I have abandoned them, except to monitor them, somewhat in the way that Jon Stewart and his writing staff do, since they are absolutely dependent on both the political class and the chattering class to stand and deliver material to him, which they mindlessly do on a silver platter.

Okay, fine with the fun and games. There was something that Charles P. Pierce included in his post linked above that stung me:
Because of our idiotic war on drugs, we are raising a generation of schoolchildren who are going to graduate from high school without knowing they have any rights that anyone in authority has to respect. The case Marcus cites — Tinker v. Des Moines — has gradually been whittled away through the very loophole that Marcus cites about how speech can be suppressed that will "disrupt the work and discipline of the school." You can drive a truck through that phrase, as the Supreme Court did in 2007 when it ruled against student speech in the famous "Bong Hits For Jesus" case.
Just reading that makes me want to spit. Got a problem with that, Ruthy?

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